Reason No. 482...

... why i hate Leo.

I can't believe it! I thought my aunt was coming back on Monday, but noooo, Jane didn't look at the dates right... Dear old auntie isn't coming back until next Monday. Therefore, I must put up with the cat for another whole week. (Well, only five days now, but still!)

So, back to reason number 482: My Sunday Mis-adventure.

We made plans to go boating on Sunday, so i decided to get up early and go meet my sister at church. (She's working at a camp all summer and isn't allowed off the funny farm, except to bring all the students to church.) I got all ready to go and then went to close the sliding door that goes out to the miniscule back balcony. Leo (the evil cat) was outside, so i kindly called him to come inside. (He is an inside cat, but likes to sit on the balcony sometimes. I locked him outside last week b/c he was driving me to drink.)

He came scrambling across the rail, and promptly slid off the balcony, into the neighbours bushes below. Now being the idiot, inside cat that he is, Leo(tec) cannot get back up onto the balcony if his life depended on it. So, instead of leaving him stranded for the day, i decided to brave an interaction with the crazy old ladies below and try to retrieve Leo(tec).

Bitter-sweet: the 'people under the stairs' weren't home, so i didn't have to talk to them. However, this left me no choice but to try and fish Leo(tec) out on my own. Here is Jane, trying to squish her (rather voluptuous) body between the shed and fence-- a space that only her arm would comfortably go through. Then i had to scale the fence at the other end of the yard. Now, normally, this would be a part of my regular work out, but that morning, i was wearing a skirt and flip flops. Not exactly mountaineering equipment.

Finally, i landed in the scary neighbours yard and spotted Leo(tec). Of course, being the intelligent creature that he is, he thought it would be a good plan to take off and make me run around the teeny yard in circles, trying to catch the little bugger. Finally, i grabbed him and held him up against me as i attempted to fall back over the fence and squeeze back through the ever-narrowing fence/shed corridor.

Of course, having to go through that contortionism again was bad enough, but i also had the added pleasure of Leo(tec) trying to escape my embrace by constantly wiggling, hissing, and scratching at me. *sigh* Could things get any worse?

Why yes, yes they could. As i stepped back over the bar between the shed and the fence, i couldn't see around the psycho fur-ball in my arms and so my foot landed squarely on an old board with-- yep, you guessed it-- a rusty nail portruding from it! Yay. Sadly, my $4 walmart flip flops did not protect me from the mean pointy metal.

As i come out from the bushes, looking like a disheveled crazy lady, limping along with an even crazier cat in my arms (still ferociously attacking me), a stupid old lady walking her dog looks at me like i'm some sort of criminal and says, "Boy, that cat sure doesn't like you." YA THINK?! Well, the feeling is certainly mutual!

After i safely deposited Leo(tec) back inside, i had to get ready for church all over again b/c i certainly couldn't show up with a coat of Leo(tec)'s disgusting long black hair plastered to my now sweaty top. I was late for church, but had a beautiful, fun and exciting day after that!

As a side note, Leo(tec) hasn't eaten since that day. Well, except the treats that i keep adding to his food dish. But at least he's drinking still. So, ya, he should be able to survive until next week when my aunt finally returns home. (Hopefully with a lot of great presents for me. If she brings something back for the cat, but not for me, i'm going to steal the bricks from her house one by one!)

Tune in next time to hear reason number 483 of "why i hate leo(tec)"