driveway

Driveways are meant to park in, as well as drive in and out of.

Dear Stupid Neighbour's Daughter's Punk Boyfriend,

I understand that you are little and annoying, and as such, it can be very difficult to think of anyone but your little punk self. However, next time you decide to block our driveway-- think again!!

I admit that we may be the 'black sheep' in the cul-de-sac (what with our continuous stream of friends coming and going, me and anika riding up in the back of jm's boat, our sometimes obnoxious animals, our overgrown weed patches and the loud children we harbour), however, that does not give your punk butt the right to force me to do an eight-point maneuver to try and get around you every morning! In fact, you don't even have a driveway in our cul-de-sac, so go park in your own flippin driveway around back.

I really don't have the time or desire to stand guard every night waiting for you to roll your ugly car up our street. Last weekend, when i was standing there, you left a couple of feet between your bumper and our driveway and then acted all civil and smiled at me, so i know you know what a pest you are. Please don't make me start acting ugly.

FYI, i have absolutely no qualms about racing a shopping cart down my driveway; i can't be held responsible if your car happens to be in the way. Good luck, and may the skinniest punk lose.